The Art of Eating Boxed Meals

The Art of Eating Boxed Meals

This article was written on July 5, 2013

Author: Lü Jianfeng

Do you know how to eat a boxed meal? You might say, 'I've eaten countless boxed meals, of course I know how.' Wrong!

Eating boxed meals is an art. Today, I, Old Lü, have given up watching a concert to talk about this. I've been eating boxed meals for over a decade, and let me tell you, there's a lot to it. Once, an Indian friend specifically asked me about this. When the Tang monk Emperor Xuanzong went to India to fetch scriptures, the Indians asked me about the art of eating boxed meals. He fetched scriptures and wrote Journey to the West; I'll write about the art of eating boxed meals.

I told this Indian friend online that I had been eating boxed meals for over ten years. He was astonished and asked how I could stand it. At that time, I chatted with him online for a few minutes, and he said he would eat more boxed meals in the future, saying he had learned a lesson. This shows how profound the art of eating boxed meals is; it can easily change a person's eating habits.

If I were to write about the art of eating boxed meals in detail and systematically, it would take at least several million words to explain clearly. Today, I'll only give a brief systematic explanation. A few million words would require a dedicated book, which I won't do. Look, did Confucius ever publish a book? The Analects were compiled by his students, Mencius was written by his student's student, and the same goes for the Great Learning and the Doctrine of the Mean. Confucius had to travel around to earn money to support himself and often helped preside over funeral ceremonies. I, Old Lü, also need to earn money, so I'll write this short article. If you're interested, you might follow the thread of this article and conduct systematic research, publish books and establish theories. Perhaps you'll become the leading authority in this field.

Now, let's get to the main topic.

First, the environment for eating boxed meals is very important. Choose a place according to your temperament and preferences. For example, I love eating boxed meals by West Lake. With picturesque scenery and beautiful lake views, the boxed meal tastes especially delicious.

Second, you can play background music while eating, as needed. The sound system should be good; a set worth hundreds of thousands is acceptable. The music should be light, such as blues like 'Because of You' which I enjoy. With beautiful music accompanying the scientific chewing sounds, eating boxed meals gets extra points.

Third, side snacks are indispensable. For such a sacred activity as eating boxed meals, Lao Gan Ma is absolutely not allowed. I particularly enjoy oil-blanched termite mushrooms and Tibetan beef jerky. Eating boxed meals with these side dishes is simply a delicacy on earth.

Fourth, if you eat with someone you like, it's perfect. With a beautiful woman sitting beside you, eating boxed meals and chatting together—just imagine, how wonderful it is!

As for wind speed and weather, due to my limited knowledge, I won't elaborate.

Once you've got the above points down, what you eat doesn't matter. You'll find that eating boxed meals is really great, truly!