The Art of Eating Boxed Meals

The Art of Eating Boxed Meals

This article was written on July 5, 2013

Author: Lü Jianfeng

Do you know how to eat a boxed meal? You might say, 'I've eaten boxed meals countless times, of course I know how to eat them. What's the big deal?'

Wrong! Eating boxed meals is an art. Today, I, Old Lü, have given up watching a concert to talk about this specifically. I've been eating boxed meals for over a decade, and let me tell you, there's a lot to it. Once, an Indian friend specifically consulted me on this. When the Tang monk Tang Xuanzong went to India to fetch scriptures, the Indians consulted me about the art of eating boxed meals. He fetched scriptures and wrote Journey to the West; I'll write about the art of eating boxed meals.

I chatted with this Indian friend online, telling him I'd been eating boxed meals for over ten years. He was astonished and asked how I could stand it. At the time, I chatted with him online for a few minutes, and he said he would eat more boxed meals in the future, saying he had learned something. This shows how profound the art of eating boxed meals is; it can easily change a person's eating habits.

The art of eating boxed meals, if written in detail and systematically, would require at least several million words to explain clearly. Today, I'll only give a brief systematic explanation. A few million words would need a dedicated book, which I won't do. You see, did Confucius ever publish a book? The Analects were compiled by his students, Mencius was written by his students' student, and the Great Learning and the Doctrine of the Mean are similar. Confucius had to travel around to make money to support himself and often helped preside over funeral ceremonies. I, Old Lü, also need to make money, so I'll write this short article. If you're interested, you might follow the thread of this article to conduct systematic research and publish a book. Perhaps you'll become the authority in this field.

Now, let's get to the main topic.

First, the environment for eating boxed meals is very important. Choose a place according to your temperament and preferences. For example, I love eating boxed meals by West Lake. With picturesque scenery and beautiful lake views, the boxed meal tastes especially good.

Second, you can play background music while eating, according to your needs. The sound system should be good; a setup costing hundreds of thousands is acceptable. The music should be light, such as blues like 'Because of You'. With beautiful music accompanying the scientific chewing sounds, eating boxed meals gets extra points.

Third, side dishes are essential. For such a sacred activity as eating boxed meals, Lao Gan Ma is absolutely not allowed. I particularly like oil-blanched termite mushrooms and Tibetan beef jerky. Eating boxed meals with these side dishes is simply a delicacy on earth.

Fourth, if you eat with someone you like, it's perfect. With a beautiful woman sitting beside you, eating boxed meals and chatting together—just imagine, how wonderful it is!

As for wind speed and weather, due to my limited knowledge, I won't elaborate.

Once you've got the above points down, what you eat doesn't matter much. You'll find that eating boxed meals is truly great, really!